I love you, Babe. Let’s go to Applebees

Sandra, my love, my dear, my everything. I want to show you how much you mean to me tonight, on the fifth anniversary of us pledging ourselves to each other in matrimony. Yes, of course I have a reservation. Now, put on your finest sweatpants, we’re going to Applebees.

That’s right, babe. I’m excited too. The double doors swing open as we barge into our local chain like a Wild West saloon and are greeted by the host. “Welcome to Applebees,” he’ll say with a bright smile. “Just the two of you?”